For the Birds

I interrupt this week of love to tell you about  the bird. 

My husband came to me a bit ago and whispered..”um, yeah…..so there’s a live bird just sitting in the coal room” The coal room, is just that. The scary room in the house that is completely original. The coal shoot is huge (sealed off though) and it’s completely surrounded by kind of crumbly stone walls. We don’t intend to change it and we use it only for storage and for locking our child up when he’s naughty.

Not really.  I would never EVER do something like that. Instead for punishment I make him read a book that isn’t about dinosaurs.  It’s horrible.

Anyway. We rounded up a butterfly net. Yes, we’re the kind of people who have a butterfly net…and went to free the bird.  And just as the words slipped out of my mouth “oh look honey, he’s being so calm” did he come flying at my head.  And then I screamed and dove to the ground. The exact spot that my dinosaur loving child happened to be. My arms were flailing, his arms were flailing…..and, well, I gave my kid a bloody lip. I accidentally bonked him.

Finally my husband caught the bird. And was standing at the door wishing the bird adieu, when he let it go a little too soon.  And once again that damn bird came flying at my head. (My son darted out of my way as to not get hit by any flailing body parts) This was on the main floor of my home. The floor with everything that is breakable.  He finally caught the poor little scared bird in my son’s closet at which time it was squawking and hissing at him. All the while this is happening my 30 pound 12 year old cat laid snoring in his comfortable little seat.  My husband waited until he was completely outside to let him go.  At which point on my way to the door to watch him fly away… I flattened myself completely across the island in the kitchen. It was awesome and graceful.  Classic.

And that was the tale of the bird.

Song: Free as a Bird, The Beatles