The year that the world literally stopped for a while.

The great pause is what I like to call it.

The year the world went a little crazy together. But apart.

The year of sweatpants and joggers. Tie dye. Home offices. Zoom. Face masks. Hand sanitizer. Arrows on floors. Signs on doors. Riots. Fires.

Fear.

Anger.

The year when mentioned in history, most of us will feel a pang in our stomachs.

And the sight of  an oversized germ will cause PTSD later down the road. (At least it will for me… I hate that picture)

The year people thought toilet paper might save their lives.

The year my son grew as tall as me. Overnight.

My 2020 started 6 months before the pandemic

By the time lock down came I had been in my bed for 9 weeks, on crutches for 5 months and literally just learning how to walk a few weeks before. I had been, except for one shoot, unemployed for 10 months (unemployment for self employed people went into effect 6 weeks before I started working again during this past summer, until then it didn’t exist and I did not apply) I got to take my first bath… in May.

So….you might see, my patience was already at a level beyond what the rest of the world was at. And I was already broke. I had trouble understanding 6-8 weeks of being “stuck at home” and became very frustrated with those who felt trapped. Their week 5 was my week 35.  But I got over that quickly.

It was an incredibly scary time. Everyone fighting the same invisible war across the globe.

I taught my kid how to drive in the weeks of shutdown. We walked miles and miles in the country and on our own streets. He helped me with the steps I couldn’t manage (and there were a lot), I couldn’t do things alone without him.  We learned the names of all the dogs within a five mile radius. Home school for a self sufficient teenager was not terrible…. just… boring. And he quietly and unceremoniously finished 8th grade on a Tuesday evening on the couch.

Don’t get me wrong… I went through the “corona mom” stage where everything and everyone was sterilized upon entry… my hands cracked from washing. showers after the grocery store and all things were cleaned, I lost my mind a million times over. It was normal to feel crazy. Because we did not know, in the beginning what it was…. and how it would affect us.

And “corona mom” is now often a phrase used for me when I get a little over worried about things.

But as weeks and months went by… people stop checking on each other..

As weeks and months went by our world turned into a war zone.

Walls, boundaries, borders between friends.

The great pause

It lasted just a bit

The time of quiet

Became one of the most chaotic, loud, tumultuous, tearing, pulling, tug of war, heart wrenching years the US ever experienced. And there was no war… except an invisible one. And ones between just us. The people who live here. The people who make this country the “best in the word”…. we ended up turning on each other.

I’m sad I had to see it. But I did. I’m sad my kid had to endure it, but he did. And whether we like it or not.

We were part of history.

The pandemic  rearranged work spaces and school spaces. And schedules. Adjusting daily, weekly and monthly was something we just had to do. Headphones were worn often to drown out banking phone noise.

But we survived this year. And me being me… I don’t really like to concentrate on the negative things. I avoid them. The news was turned off early on. Facebook not looked at.  Even though it was a hard thing to do at times when it was like a cloud that enveloped the world.

We did all the things that Americans did. Bought a camper. Spent so much time in the outdoors that we had to take a break from it.  We still mowed lawns. And smelled like grass all summer. We stayed close to home. We fished. We hiked.

I spent all summer and fall lost in my photography world. Long days and nights that drained me of energy but I couldn’t be more grateful to be doing it. I couldn’t hug my people. I couldn’t hold hands with my little people. It broke me every time they tries.  But… taking pictures is what kept me sane throughout the year.  (and I know I say this every year…. but damn I love my clients. I love my seniors. I love “my” kids. I love everything about my job. What I did not expect. To cry when I saw how grown up kids were.  Or to realize how long I’ve been doing this and have literally documented little lives for so long. I did not expect my body to wear out so quickly.

I got a puppy. (I’ll forever call him my corona puppy)

I learned to walk again.  (HELL YEAH!!!)

I cooked SO MUCH good food.

I made tie dye clothes.  I made every cosmetic thing I could find a recipe for, and will forever be making my own hand soap. I sewed. I glued. I cross stitched.  I knitted. I gardened. I canned.

I tried to find comfort in everything I could imagine.

I watched sunrises and sunsets.

I cried because I missed people all the time.

I still laughed.

I still hugged some people.

And I’m still finding good  (at least one good thing) in everyday.

Open the door and let this year go.  And let the new one bring hope.

………..

And here… are the few of the highlights. There really was beauty in this year.