I went to the grocery store yesterday.
My area of the country is preparing for 1-7 feet of snow. (That’s not a joke) and given this past year, preparing for anything out of the ordinary has become…. well normal. I bought candles just in case the electricity goes out. And food I can cook. Had a chat with my co-worker about how we could survive with the generator for a couple days. (My co-worker is my husband… who is working from home permanently.)
This weekend marks one year since shut down. Since isolation.
The grocery store, looked a lot like it did a year ago. Nothing on the shelves. People with wild panicked eyes, who looked like they jumped out of bed to get to the store. Unkempt hair. Pajamas. It was eery and familiar. Only there are signs on the floor and at the door about “social distancing” (that’s a phrase that didn’t exist a year ago) and masks (something I had only seen on people in pictures in foreign countries) Over the loud speaker I hear “we have ONE vaccine left today, please come talk to us if you qualify .”
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There is a vaccine. For the worst invisible war I’ve ever been in.
CoVid.
One year later, I’m sitting at my glass desk writing about it all, but still living in it. 2 weeks became 4. 4 became 6. 6 became half a year… and now, a year. And it still continues. And you become accustomed to your surroundings. Arrows on the floor. Distancing signs everywhere. Sitting in the parking lot waiting to see the vet or the doctor. Masks. Antibacterial sprays. Praying that someday, somehow… things might be ” old normal” and hearing the phrase “new normal” makes you cringe and instantly become red in the face. Because none of this is “normal.” “New normal” is infuriating.
But I have to believe there is light out there. At the end of the tunnel.
And like all generations that came before me that had to endure SO much worse. War and famine and loss…. SO much worse than this. We are surviving. And we are fine. (despite the death toll….. yes… the death toll, that I quit keeping track of because the numbers seem skewed…..or because I just can’t take it anymore.)
I cannot lie… my mental state is kinda jacked. Is there someone out there who isn’t changed from this past year? Who’s mental state is totally normal?
Who do we believe? What do we do? We Americans went from huddling together in fear to fighting each other in fear. It’s been a horrible year….. America… the country where everyone can grow and be and thrive, the country where everyone wants to flee to… we are divided into a million pieces right now. Everything is offensive and wrong and no one is the right color or gender. NO ONE. Political differences are literally ripping our country in half. And I cry over it often at night, even though I quit watching the news months ago, because even in Wyoming, the Wild West….the least populated state in the union… we are divided.
I have been lucky. Wyoming hasn’t been as strict as other states. Our lives haven’t been changed quite as much. Yes there have been rules and mandates (not laws) I have been able to carry on with a life for the most part…. just having to pivot a little. But everyone in the world has had to pivot. We’ve all had to figure out how to do things just a little bit differently.
But here’s the thing…
We figured out how to do online school in 2 weeks period of time. (teacher’s deserve so much more than what they get)
We figured out how to get groceries to people. How to keep restaurants open even though we couldn’t go there. We figured out how to support our brick and mortar businesses. We figured out how to get coffee delivered. And alcohol. We figured out the internet could help EVERYONE stay connected. We can still “see” each other. (we are living literally living the Back to the Future scene….it came true.) The world pivoted and that part of all of this has been incredible to watch and be a part of. I still get to go to church. I still get to shop. I still get to eat. I have enough toilet paper and hand sanitizer. I still get to dance (I can f-n dance people…. something I couldn’t do a year ago.) I still get to breathe and huff and puff over things I don’t agree with. I still get to sit at my glass desk and write. I still get to binge watch Netflix (Bridgerton was my last one…)
Are there terrible things that happened because of this? Yes. Half of the country has kids behind in school. Are they alone. NO. The WHOLE WORLD has kids in the same spot. Depression is at an all time high. Domestic abuse. All of it. Economic crashes. California still can’t leave their homes for the most part. Oregon. Government has a lot of control. And it’s scary. All of it was predicted a year ago and yes it all happened. Along with fires that took out millions of forests. And ice storms and snow storms. It ALLLLLL happened. Hell literally happened. Texas has a snow storm that shut it down. HELL has happened.
But we are surviving.
Well… most of us, if we’re lucky… we’re still here.
We’ve lost so many to this horrible virus. In more ways than contracting it. And I need to take a moment to think of them. More than a moment…
And the nurses and the doctors and the teachers and the men and women transporting all the things and the men and women at grocery stores… YOU ARE THE HEROS of this past year. I owe so much more than gratitude to you. You saved us. THANK YOU!
And so.. I sit at my glass desk. Watching the snow fall. Wondering if the apocalypse is coming. It might.
I’ll let you know.
But… in my optimism. Cheers to making it through the year. What’s another 7 feet of snow anyway.
Keep checking in .
My mental state needs it.
Much love and light my friends.
Captured it. Made me tear up. Good stuff Stacey. ♥️