Documentation

It’s taken me a very long time to write this.

In fact it’s taken me a really long time to write much of anything, and I feel sad for falling away from that the last couple years. But as I find my desk covered in post it notes of ideas and starters I’m well aware that I need to “talk”

My life, people see in photos. Normally really pretty photos. It’s how I have ALWAYS documented things. I have always had a camera in hand, since I was a kid. I wouldn’t say I have perfected my craft, I’m always learning, but I know what I’m doing. However…… there is ALWAYS a story behind the photos. I can nearly remember every shoot I’ve had. Down to what colors you were wearing. But what’s more meaningful to me, is what I came away with from all those pictures. I have words and thoughts attached to them. It’s not just your family that has memories of those moments…. I do as well. And writing those feelings and memories down, has been part of my journey with all the babies and kids, and families and seniors and lives that I get to be a part of. If only for a little while.

Sometimes those “little whiles”… affect me for a very long time.

I got a message late spring last year. A client and my friends husband was diagnosed with cancer. “Can we please get photos taken as soon as possible? At the family cabin?” It took a month and a half to get the session together, and for schedules to align. By the time I saw them, he was in a lot of pain, and pictures were the last thing he wanted to be doing. (to be honest, he never really loved photos, but he was always so sweet and compliant, because they were important to his wife.) So… we continued. It was so very sad and so very happy at the same time. They were together. I wanted more than anything to comfort them, but I knew these photos wouldn’t bring them comfort until years down the line. If they could even be looked at. But eventually, they will be very meaningful. I drove home, two hours from the mountains completely torn apart and broke down in tears most of the way. I had been struggling with trival things at home and realized just how ridiculous I was being for my feelings when my friend was watching her husband die.

He passed away just a few months later.

I had been photographing his family for 10 years. Before he was married. Before his son came along and then after. I got to know their dogs and their house and their favorite spots. And I got to stop time for them so many times. And I am so honored that I did.

So, after I write this, I think what I’m trying so delicately to say…

Please document your life. Document it for your kids. Print them. Print them BIG. Hang them. Show up in the photos WITH them. It doesn’t NOT matter how you look … it matters that you are there with them. It’s the feelings that matter more.

If that documentation involves me… thank you. These moments change my life too. And no matter how hard the feelings are, I promise I will hold as many grasshoppers as needed…. that’s part of my job too.