We celebrated the night before with an apple feast. Just like we have done since he went to Kindergarten. Making sure to make a big deal out of starting another school year. Complete with twinkle lights and delicious food. And lots of apples.
The general mood… for our children though… was excitement veiled by fear. Fear of what’s going to happen to them. Fear of sickness. Fear of the unknown. Fear we weren’t quite prepared enough.
He’s a freshman. Those words keep rolling through my mind a thousand times this morning. I have a freshman. In high school! How the hell did that happen? I’m not old enough to have a freshman in high school. I was just there myself. Moving into my locker. Decorating it with drawings and paintings and mirrors and magnets. I was surrounded by boys who happened to be a couple of my closest friends. And I would start each morning before school sitting on the grey carpet in front of my locker working on homework because I was always 20 minutes early. My gym shorts were silk plaid. My volleyball shoes were purple converse. Math was easy. Health was embarrassing. And seniors were… scary.
And looking forward to this year for my son, I expected a lot of the same things for him.
But things are not the same for him.
When I dropped him off my stomach was in knots. My chest was tight. My nerves were beyond shot. And I cried and cried after he was out of sight. It was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long while. Watch him walk into high school in a mask. Second guessing my decision to send him there. But knowing it’s what he needs. Praying for the best outcome. But at the same time feeling I’m sending him into a war zone.
There are too many feelings today.
So, I will go with the flow the best I can. I will show support the best I can. And I will pivot when needed.
Good luck my Dino Dude.
Be awesome.
