My little Dino Dude and I went on a little over night drive to see my parents a while back. It had been a long time since I went to just hang out with them without some sort of other agenda, or holiday or reason. We just went.
We spent the day on the 4 wheeler, trekking through the mountains, playing in barns, swinging from ropes and hanging out in trees on the ranch my dad keeps his horses. It was wonderful. Of course my little man immediately makes friends and already has friends there waiting to play with him. He normally does wherever he goes. I love that about him. And sometimes wish I had a little bit more of that in me.
We slept until late in the morning. Something I NEVER do, but for some reason, when I am at my parents house I revert back to being a teenager. I sleep. I let them take care of me. And feed me. It’s just something that parents do. And I have no doubt that is exactly what it will be like for my little man. It’s humbling though to watch your parents get older and move on to different stages in life. It all happens so very slowly. But it changes none the less. My superman dad moves slower than he use to. It’s different, but it’s just the natural course of things in this world I guess.
So… even though I missed a few days, Jenni’s topic for every day in May for today, is “what are you most afraid of?” (and I know I probably won’t get to all of these, but it’s a good exercise none the less.)
I thought I would chime in. Of course there a small things I’m not real fond of. Like snakes. But, I don’t really count those as real fears. I mean, I live in Wyoming, I’ve come across many snakes in my time. Even had to kill a few. What I’m talking about is real fear. I think my biggest fear is the future of my child. He is my main worry in this life. The what if’s are endless. I worry about his health. His social life. School. Eating. Everying. It all comes with the territory. And my fear, is that I mess him up. I also fear success. And failure. Both equally. And I fear old age. Not wrinkles or how I look or anything cosmetic really. But being old in general, and burdens upon others. I also fear, losing my family. Any of them. Anytime. I think I fear the pain associated with it. I know I will survive whatever I’m handed, but I don’t want to have to survive something. No one does. And my last fear…. losing my memory. Childhood memories. Good memories and bad ones. All of them. I have too many beautiful ones stored up in there. They get me through the bleary days sometimes. I think that is one of the reasons I document my life in pictures, to prove it all happened to myself.
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Song: Titanium, David Guetta …because I just can’t get it out of my head.