As a parent, you wonder often (at least I do) about how you’re doing at it. Because you never really know until way down the road whether or not you have completely messed up your kid or not. Which, let’s face it, we all mess them up a little right? My little family, we’re pretty tight. My kiddo and I, we’re really tight. We may argue incessantly, but he and are crazy about one another. And we tell each other all the time. Even if we’ve been fighting. But sometimes you go through a lull, where you’re just doing your everyday thing and saying your everyday words…and then one day he says something that kind of changes you. Forever.
We were watching the video last week where the dog starting attacking the kid in the driveway and then the heroic cat jumped on the scene and saved the kid’s life. You know that one? (Here it is if you haven’t seen it. ) We were discussing this as a family and somehow came about that, we as parents, would do anything for our Dino Dude. We explained to him that we would jump in front of a bus, cover him in a tornado, get him out of a burning building before ourselves, etc, etc. And then we went on our way with our everyday life.
A couple hours later, I was tucking my blue eyed wonder into bed, and I could tell something was bothering him, so I asked him if he needed to tell me something, or get something off his chest. I could tell he was struggling with something. He talked really quietly (which he hardly ever does with me, he’s normally very excited and animated) and he said “Mom, if you guys ever…….pass”, he couldn’t bring himself to say the word “die”, and then these giant tears came out, the ones he had been trying to hold back, and then even softer he said:
“I would be nothing.”
And that was that. I was speechless and my life was now a little different. I know he would not be nothing, he would be strong and amazing, and his life would be full. But, I now know I mean something to him. Something real. And that is worth everything hard I have ever had to do as a parent. And, I also know that I need to be so mindful of what I’m saying and how it is affecting the little head I’m saying it to.
.jpg)